Mumbai: The urge to opt out was building from the time I was 48; it became very strong around 50. Something within me seemed to be getting destroyed by the pressures within the organisation. I was no longer enjoying my work (mostly I did). I was afraid of things going wrong (I usually took risks). I did not feel that I was contributing to the organisation (loyalty was nothing to be shy about then). I suspect there is a fundamental change when you turn 50.

Every organisation has its own problems, but this feeling is something within a person - it creeps in around this age. There is a famous psychologist who has a theory on this feeling - check out Erik Erikson. In any case, while theories may be reassuring, there is precious little you can do about the butterflies in your stomach when you want to opt out.

Butterfly - money

The scariest thing about this decision was, of course, money. We do not want to do something 'heroic' and be miserable later. After lots of discussions my wife and I zeroed in on this statement:

• We must earn variable cost every month (you guessed it - I am an accountant; variable cost is monthly expenditure not including big stuff like car, home theatre…) This means you lower your expectations substantially.
  
• We shall not touch our capital for any venture - however tempting. The nest egg built over 30 years should be subject to near-zero risk. It would be our ultimate backup.
  

We also recognised that we must earn for the thief who would knock at your door every month - the thief of inflation.

Too much thinking about money can paralyse you - too little thinking about it can make you fall flat when you opt out.

Make sure that when you opt out you have some basic financial security. If you don't, then grin and bear it; it's always possible for you to make your job more bearable by tweaking your own attitude a bit.

Butterfly - what do we do?

The next question was perhaps more important - what do we do with ourselves? My wife and I talked and talked about this for several months. We defined the guiding principle.

We will enjoy what we do.

We then made a list of things we would like to do and each of us ranked the list for preferences. Of the 14 items we listed we matched on the three top things we would like to do, which were:

• A little bit of this and a little bit of that (avoid becoming slaves to one major activity)
  
• Voluntary work
  
• Interim management (for me)
  

Butterfly - children and family

There was one very genuine concern from the in-laws and my family - two children still to be 'settled'. Some of that concern was addressed when we shared our financial situation with them - which just showed that we would survive on interest income. Middle-class families have a paranoid fear of risk and an unrealistic (in the current context) faith in 'job'.

My son is a Linux geek; after graduation, during the dotcom boom, he made us proud by getting together with some friends and setting up a company offering Linux solutions. We thought we didn't have to worry about him any more. We quit our jobs. Our sense of security was short-lived. His company went bust.

My daughter did well in her graduation and decided, in her own way, to 'opt out' and experiment with theatre for a year. Tough on my middle-class mind, but I guess this is what 'paradigm shift' is all about. One hopes and copes. There is also faith in youth - but tell that to the butterflies.

It helps to share your plans of retirement as transparently as possible with the family.

Reality - planning will go wrong

In a year we had a great business idea which we thought we would enjoy. My wife quit her job and started the groundwork for the business idea, and I was to quit in a couple of months - and we would be off. My wife, to deal with the shift from schoolteacher to entrepreneur, attended an intense self-development workshop just as I quit my job; she came back from the workshop enlightened and sure that she did not want to be an entrepreneur. That was the end of 'the great business idea'. So here we were - without jobs and a stillborn enterprise. I still think our enterprise concept is a great idea. But so much for planning.

That was the time the butterflies got even more active in the stomach.

Luck and risk go together

I was lucky to land an interim management assignment for a year which took care of our variable costs for three years. So, now, a year-and-a-half into retirement, the butterflies are still around, but we are cautiously saying that quitting was right.

I enjoyed the interim management assignment, and we discovered Saurashtra in the bargain.

And some good things happen…

I have established the success of the interim management concept, which I am now trying to roll out as a business plan. I am excited about some other ideas which I will try (a little bit of this and a little bit of that).

I have stopped my diabetic medication. My sugar level has never been so good.

My wife has acquired additional degrees from the Indira Gandhi National Open University and is associated with the British Council, Schoolnet and the Aastha Foundation. She is also freelancing and enjoying her learning.

We are also trying to set up a group to rejuvenate the joy of learning among educated adults stuck in a groove.

I did the Art of Living course and stuck with the discipline; it helps. We both attended self-exploration groups and got down to working on our relationship. Relationships should never be taken for granted - there is no retirement age for relationships.

I am reading a lot and enjoying it immensely.

We do not particularly miss the chauffeur-driven car since it just carried me many miles, but it was mostly to the office. We are covered by medical insurance, so no great insecurity on that count.

And I am trying to write. This is my first attempt. You will now hear from me about how interim management works.